Maybe the final update???

Day 10
A very, very grey day today. It pissed down most of the day with only the odd break. The early morning news was that a police officer required reconstructive surgery after receiving a “bashing” whilst attempting to break up a Christmas morning punch-up. It’s like the whole country is run by 12 year olds.
Being Boxing Day it was the start of the Sydney to Hobart yacht race, so I thought we might go and watch the start. Unfortunately I made an uneducated guess about where it started and we ended up about two miles away from where we should have been. L spotted the masts in the distance, but it was too late to do anything about it by then.
We went to the Museum of Contemporary Art and L was quite perplexed by how a red canvas with an orange stripe painted across its centre could be art. To be honest I wasn’t able to answer him. However I was able to explain to him that the pile of sand in one of the galleries wasn’t to be played in and that it was actually someone’s very expensive art. He said he could make something just as good himself and the he was going to make a lot of money doing it. Here’s hoping he’s right so I can retire and live off the boy.
After that we went to the Observatory which was literally minutes of fun (well, how much fun can an Observatory be before the hours of darkness … or after) and from there walked in to town, which was absolutely mobbed. After fighting our way through the crowds we made it to China Town which as the name suggests was full of Chinamen. Finally we went to Paddy’s Market which contrary to the name wasn’t full of Paddies, but was exactly like the Barras; full of crap and tat. However I did see my second Tim of the trip. Don’t they have anything other than green and grey hoops to wear???

Day 11
Sunday is “Family Fun Day” on public transport (i.e. it’s much cheaper than normal if you have a kid in tow) so P unveiled her plan to spend the whole day riding trains and ferries. That’ll be no surprise to anyone that knows her. Luckily it only turned out to be half the day, using three trains and three ferries.
We went to Manley which was a much more impressive beach than Bondi (well, cleaner anyhow). Highlight of the day was having fish and chips by the sea wall. Lowlight was a massive barney walking along the path round the bay when I voiced my opinion that P smacking a cyclist in the face with an umbrella was a bad thing. According to her it was not really her fault as he shouldn’t have been cycling there in the first place. I’d been telling her all week that it was a bad idea to use an umbrella as a pointer, like some eighty year old dowager might; an accident waiting to happen. Some days I’d rather insert red hot needles in to my eyeballs than be within 10 miles of her. Today was one of those days.

Day 12
We met up with our old neighbours and their kids today. They moved to Canberra earlier this year and P kept in touch with them since then. Nothing much of any note happened though. The weather was shit beyond belief and chucked it down almost the whole day. The cloud was so low you couldn’t see the top of the Sydney Tower.
Saw yet another Tim. What a shame it is to have nothing else to define their existence other than their tim-ness.

Day 13
At long last the weather changed and we had a beautiful day. L and I took a walk down to Circular Quay while P indulged in her favourite pass time of housework. Saw a topless woman (very pert) down by the naval base. Luckily L didn’t notice her as he isn’t quite at the age where he can appreciate such things. He was too busy challenging me to a “walking race”. By the time we were finished that we were both drenched in sweat and, as you can imagine, that didn’t go down too well with P as we needed a full change of clothes before going out in the afternoon.
Went to the Sydney Tower, but it was about 1000 degrees inside and there was a 75 minute wait in line to get to the top. Given that we decided we’d come back another day.
Had some excitement when two ambulances and a police car showed up at the close. They were there for ages and were in a flat on one of the floors below, but they left empty handed so not sure what it was all about. Although I was “asked” to, I certainly wasn’t going to go down stairs and gawp like some red neck ghoul.

Day 14
Went to Wildlife World where L decided to spend 20 dollars of his holiday money on having his picture taken with a Koala. It was a bit of a damp squib though as the animal was asleep in a tree. Seemed a bit cruel to have a line of tourists rock up and stroke it while it was trying to have a kip in a tree, but then this country doesn’t seem to be bound by many of the conventions we have back home. The main attraction was an enormous Croc that had just been shipped in from Darwin. L made us hang around for over an hour longer than we should have stayed so he could see it being fed, but all it did was lie completely still. Very exciting.
We then went to the Chinese Gardens. You can hire traditional Chinese costume here for $5 and we got one for L. He spent the next hour charging around with a Bo Staff like Monkey. P started yakking to a Russian woman while L played with the boy she was with; he was only 6 but spoke excellent English and was as tall as L already. L now fancies himself as a Chinese superhero and wants to buy himself a costume to wear at home.
Day 15
Woke up to an enormously stiff neck; ouch. P recons she’s worse off than me and has arthritis; arthritis of the brain maybe. Weather’s a bit grey again.
Then it was off to the Aquarium, which was pretty much like any other aquarium with one exception; the Brazilians are back! And I don’t mean the good kind, I mean the human variety; the spoiled assholes who are rich enough to leave Brazil. It was like a flash back to Orlando.
These people aren’t just good at footy, they are world class at thinking they are allowed to do whatever the hell they want, whenever the hell they want, wherever the hell they want. It’s no surprise that Brazil has created sod all of any use. We give the world television, penicillin, and the telephone; they give the world a stone dude on a hill, a titty parade, and all manner of STDs. Grrrr.
Fireworks! Happy New Year.
Day 16
2010 dawns to drizzle and dreadful mugginess. Went to the Australian Museum which was bit stuffy and a bit fusty. It was mostly dead animal and fake dinosaur bones; not nearly as impressive as some of the other museums we’ve been to.
After that we stopped by Hyde Park and L and I looked around the war memorial there. It’s quite an impressive building and a fitting tribute to chaps who fought died so I wouldn’t have to.
I think I’ve been here long enough now. I’ve brown weary of being on holiday and hanker for the mother country; not to mention I’m getting worried I’ve a burst pipe at home now that I know it’s been -6 there!
Day 17
Finally went up the Sydney Tower following our earlier abortive attempt. Thankfully the weather had cleared and we got a great view of the city. There was also a simulator ride but it was a bit crap and smelled funny inside. L enjoyed it though. Also went to the Barracks Museum which was quite interesting. I even got to try out a hammock for the very first time; very comfortable it was too.
Happened across a sports shoe shop called Athletes Foot. Now I can understand the play on words, but naming your store after a disease seems a bit counter intuitive. A fungal infection of the toes hardly conjures up positive images.